1. This is a tough topic. My dad was physically abusive, esp to my mom. My mom left with my brother and I for about 6 or 8 months, I think, when I was 5. She was not a believer at the time. My dad was raised in a Christian hime but didn’t go the church or have a vital faith. He was an alcoholic and a work-aholic. He was verbally abusive also esp. when he was drinking.

    They got back together for the sake of my brother and I. There was still some heavy abuse. When I was almost 17, I was drastically converted. My mom became a believer a few months after me. She stuck with my dad mostly for his sake not her own. You could say that she was called to suffer for Messiah’s sake. Or at least for us kids’ sake. The testimony of her selfless love and devotion to all of us was glorifying to YHWH. She learned to be a suffering servant.

    I am sure that most people would have counseled her to divorce. Some did. I am not advising women, or men for that matter, to remain in a severely abusive situation. I am not advising anyone to divorce. This is a testimony of YHWH’s grace in our situation. I am glad my parents stuck together through such horrible problems. I am sad that they went through such pain. My mom was not perfect either. There were circumstances, that I will not discuss, that brought out the worst in my dad at times.

    I do not intend any dishonor toward either of my parents, but intend to bring hope to the reader and glory to YHWH.

    My dad and mom remained together until my mom died of cancer in 2002. He died one year later. He lost his reason to live after she died. They loved each other, but they were like handicapped little kids as far as being able to relate to each other perfectly. Things got better as the years went by and my dad said that he had made peace with YHWH before his death.

    You know, we are all like handicapped little children of our Father in heaven. We do not relate well to Him or to each other sometimes. It is hard to forgive someone if we think they are capable of great things. It is much easier to forgive someone that is unable to help themselves. In what measure we dish out judgment it will be measured back to us. Mercy triumphs over judgment. I love my mom and dad and by YHWH’s grace I have been able to forgive them. I think my mom learned these lessons long ago. She was there to help my dad when he couldn’t help himself.

    Our Father in heaven had only one Child that matured properly. He asked Him to suffer for all of His retarded children. It is amazing what grace can come from YHWH when we are willing to suffer with Him. And there is a promise that comes with such suffering. We will be glorified with Him.

    In all of this one could say that the abuser is not a believer and that he must not be pleased to dwell with the believer since he beats the spouse. But that judgment is left to only One. YHWH makes a provision for the beaten wife. “Let not the wife depart from her husband but if she departs let her remain single or be reconciled to her husband.” If it is too hard she can leave and trust YHWH to bring grace into the situation. It might be that YHWH gives the abuser grace to stop. It might be that grace is provided for her to live a single life until the spouse dies. It could be that YHWH will give grace for the abused to suffer for the sake of the others involved.

    No one has the right to abuse another, but we think that we do not deserve to suffer. What we really deserve is hell. Humility is hard sometimes. Are we not glad that Y’shua died for us while we were yet sinners and his enemies? We certainly caused Him great pain.

    No greater love has a man than this that he lay down his life for a friend. My mom loved my dad.

    This subject is too hard, but it is not too hard for YHWH. He loves you. I have no condemnation for anyone in this. YHWH knows your situation. He will help.

    Seek YHWH’s grace. Walk in forgiveness. Do not repay evil for evil. Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of YHWH and He will lift you up.

    Heb.2:10 For it became him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings.


  2. Okay, thank you! This answered my question completely…thank you! I really appreciate the way you walk through issues Dr. Brown.

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